Consultants. Advisors. Business Coaches. These are big fields anymore. And as more and more people leave the struggling 40-hour-week work force to go it alone, it is only going to get bigger. The question is, how do you select?
Of course, we know I really know nothing about coaching. That’s not my job! And it’s definitely not my area of expertise. However, I do wander in and out of various coaching forums, and so I write…
Surveying the possibilities, the first phenomenon we are likely to notice is Big Men Shouting. After all, they’re big, and they shout. They shamelessly parade their accomplishments, cuss publicly and loudly, and repeatedly insult their potential clients. And yet they find work, lots of work. How long the clients put up with the yelling and insults hardly matters because there are plenty of other people willing to endure the abuse.
Next we find what I call Bouffant Betty – though she may prefer Elegant Elizabeth, with her chic coif, perfect nails, stiletto heels and avant garde color schemes. She may know a thing or two about business, she may have even built up some little activity and sold it for a tidy sum, and she most certainly has friends who are amazed by her and who stroke her ego by reminding her how she amazes them, but what she sells is hot air. I rather think the Bouffant Betties were wonderful modern moms to their preschoolers and sent those little ones off to kindergarten absolutely glowing with self-esteem. Now, she applies what she learned on the score-free-everybody-wins-soccer field to adults. What, you didn’t make 10 cold calls this week? Well, did you at least make a list of 10 names to call? Oh, only 3 names? That’s still better than last week! Treat yourself to a pedicure! (With some of that money you didn’t make, perhaps?) Bouffant Betty’s clients quickly ‘feel better.’ Who wouldn’t? No meaningful deadlines, no extensive to-do lists, no gauging your progress with dollar bills. Instead, the focus is on motivational quotes and inspirational stories, with plenty of leeway for the pitfalls of daily life.
Somewhere in the middle we have the Earnest Advisors. Our Earnest Advisor has met his share of Big Men Shouting. He is also aware of the Bouffant Betties. However, our Earnest Advisor wants to be respectable, and so he vows never to behave badly or to take advantage of people or manipulate them. Surely his vast expertise and experience will shine forth, his good character will be a draw, and he will succeed. But he doesn’t.
As an aside, please know there are plenty little men and even women (of all sizes) who shout, there are men who deal in self-esteem, and our Earnest Advisor could be a man or a woman. I invite you to adjust your mental picture accordingly, depending on your own experience. But I digress.
What is going on here? Why do so many people choose the showboats? (Apologies in advance for the ensuing psychobabble.)
Big Men Shouting are mean dads and demi-god figures the world over. Bouffant Betty is our stereotypical nice mommy who loves us and makes us feel good with milk and cookies after school every day. And our Earnest Advisor? He’s that boring guy who lives next door. We want approval from our dads and moms. (We want approval from our demi-god figures, too, whatever our religious preference.) But the guy next door? All we want from him is our ball back if it goes in his yard, and nice enough candy at Halloween.
The first two are authority figures. It is highly likely we will work hard and do things that offer neither enjoyment nor immediate gratification (such as leaf raking and cold calling) to secure the approval of our dads and moms. For the guy next door, however, we expect cash on the barrel. I suspect this is due to the one thing both extremes have in common: emotion. Authority figures and parents hook into our emotions in a way the next-door neighbor never will.
And let’s not forget the one thing they have that we don’t: power. It’s what I call the “Lois Lane Phenomenon.” Lois didn’t have the time of day for mild-mannered Clark Kent, but she was certainly smitten with Superman. Although in some later versions of the story they overcome this, the basic plot has Superman too busy with serious trouble to take care of Lois’s day-to-day needs. The same applies here. Ordinary business men and women have been known to throw in their lot with Superstar coaches in a nearly desperate attempt to learn ‘the trick’ or to make it easier for some of the Superstar glow to rub off on them. Yet Superstar coaches are too busy with the large needs – the largest of which is feeding their own egos by maintaining a cadre of sycophants nearby – to effectively care for the ordinary person’s ordinary business.
Unfortunately, folks, coaching doesn’t work like that.
The job of a coach is to make us accountable for our behavior and results. Struggling business men and women blame the economy, regulation, tax code, lack of operating capital, a new mall, poor equipment, unfortunate weather, a bad employee, a bad partner, an unhelpful spouse… It is never their own fault, and as long as it is never their own fault, there is nothing they can do to make a difference. During coaching, I believe what happens first is development of a measure of accountability to the coach. The business man or woman has to buy into the authority of the coach and want approval from the coach. In order to gain that approval, they have to be willing to learn a new game, acquire new habits, and develop proficiency at new skills. The more they respect the coach and desire the coach’s approval, the harder they work. The harder they work, the faster they succeed. True success is not so much when the business ‘does better’ or ‘acquires some new client,’ but when the business owner no longer needs the coach because he or she has mastered the new habits and skills and become accountable to himself or herself.
But it all starts with the business man or woman buying into the authority of the coach, and our Mr. Rogers look-alike just doesn’t appear to have that much authority.
When you go into business, generally speaking, you have an area of expertise. You make a widget, paint a widget, fix a widget, or possibly even represent a widget in court. But… Advertising? Janitorial duties? Procuring supplies? Customer relations? Employee acquisition and management? Bookkeeping? Taxes? Computers? Websites? Social networking? The list has no end. But remember: you are already an expert with your widget activity, and that’s the most important thing. You know your widget activity inside and out. If you could only find someone who could coordinate all that other stuff, you’d have it made in the shade with a glass of lemonade. Guess what! Our Earnest Advisor is that someone. He may not know how to fix your computer or plan your marketing campaign or do your taxes, but he can help you determine which of the peripheral activities you can actually struggle through on your own and which you absolutely need to delegate, plus show you how to streamline your systems and simplify your day. How does he do this? He asks questions, and he listens. You see, his widget is business structure.
So if you’re looking for a business coach, go with an Earnest Advisor, not a self-proclaimed Superstar. An Earnest Advisor might seem quiet and unassuming, but I think you will be pleasantly surprised. An Earnest Advisor will take the time to get to know you, help you recognize your strengths so that you can build on them, and identify your weaknesses so you can farm them out without losing control. An Earnest Advisor will help you streamline your work flow so that it is more manageable. An Earnest Advisor will show you which metrics are actually meaningful to your widget activity, and how to track them. Sure, you will have to do homework and probably change some of your behaviors. But you won’t be breathlessly trying to measure up to somebody’s ego or practicing your smile in front of a mirror, all the while watching your cash fly out the door.
PS When might a business coach be right for you?
*When you absolutely know you have a terrific widget activity, and want to jump start your success, a business coach can help you avoid the common pitfalls of new business.
*When you have achieved a certain plateau but can’t seem to get any higher, a business coach can analyze your efforts to see what’s holding you back and help you get over the hurdle.
*When you identify a particular area that you want to improve, such as marketing or systems flow, a business coach can facilitate change.
*When you notice you are doing everything while your staff takes long lunches, a business coach can alleviate mayhem.
